Out of Retirement
Columbus, OH
October 22, 2019
The very underrated Grover Cleveland left office, but returned four years later to resume his duties.
William Howard Taft was shown the door from the White House, but eight years later walked thru that of the Supreme Court.
John Quincy Adams condescended to serve nine terms in the House of Representatives after having spent one acrimonious stint as President of the United States.
The Bourbons and the Stuarts were each deposed. Within decades, both were restored. Michael Jordan kept retiring and, like Michael Corleone, kept being pulled back in.
Richard Nixon came up short in 1960, fell shorter in 1962, and then assured the press they wouldn’t have Richard Nixon to kick around any more. A decade later, they would.
Douglas MacArthur escaped Manila, but promised to return. And he did. Hell, even Hillary Clinton won’t fade away.
Neither, it seems, will I.
Will Durant observed that the ancient Greeks differed from us not so much in their conduct as in their candor. That’s probably true. Our greater diffidence and delicacy (at least till recently) makes it offensive for us to preach what we practice.
Durant was referring primarily to the particular vice of lust…and the general lust for vice. But the same could be said for the sin of sloth, our inclination to indolence.
Ancient Athenians admired reflection and repose as paths to wisdom and virtue. Contemporary Americans deride them as signs of weakness and waste.
The philosophic Greeks assessed situations like a shrewd lion surveying the Serengeti. Impetuous moderns trample over them like a herd of buffalo across the plains.
Like the brazen Greeks, I have no compunction admitting that, for a good portion of this summer, I inclined toward indolence like Russian Hill to San Francisco Bay.
They attributed their need for ease to philosophy, Plato’s “dear delight”, a search for truth. I ascribed mine to fatigue, professional burn-out, a quest for rest.
When I left my last job, I had no desire to step back into any office, anytime, anywhere. I was given a gift, and would take my time opening it…and savoring it. I requested no receipt, and wanted no warranty. I had no intention of returning the offering.
I cherished time with my sons, a couple trips to Lake Michigan, and renovations to and around our home. I took excursions through the pages of my neglected books, escaping to distant places and bygone times, and indulging wisdom and lessons from the sages, simpletons, saints, and miscreants of earlier ages.
I relished especially the little things. Walking the dog after the sun was up, but before the heat pressed down. Reclining at dawn or dusk…with coffee or wine…on our refurbished deck amid the cardinals, jays, and goldfinches that spray their varied hues across the verdant canvas of leaf and lawn.
I knew I wasn’t retired, but took periodic solace pretending I was. I sought reasons not to return to corporate life, and explored alternatives to doing so. I erected an LLC, engaged in E-commerce, dabbled in digital marketing, sold options, collected dividends, and accrued interest.
I enjoyed these diversions and delusions, and still do. But it was a lot of buzzing for only a little honey. And, despite considerable activity, it was disorganized. A lot of bees, but no hive.
As I tried to convince myself I could make something of the swarm, I paused. I took a deep breath and a step back. With only a few months till we have a son in college…and a few years till we have two…I needed to defend my idle desires in the court of fiscal responsibility.
The financials were arraigned, placed on the stand, and forced to confess. One after another, these numerical witnesses were subpoenaed, and made their case. Cross-examination was somewhat compelling, occasionally convincing, often quixotic.
But with each piece of testimony, my mental jury began to buckle. As it deliberated, and the incontrovertible data sailed in, I watched wistfully, like an admiral’s wife waiting for the return of the fleet…and not wanting to admit she was already a widow.
Before long, I again was engaged. Today I tied the knot with Cardinal Health, and plan to spend the next several months doing all I can to drag out the honeymoon.
Yesterday was like easing back into a chilly lake after having been out long enough to dry off. I spent the morning at home on phone calls, the afternoon in transit, and the evening here. I waded in slowly, first up to my knees, then to my waist…arms raised chest-high, trying to enter the water without getting wet.
Last night, over dinner with my new boss (same as the old boss), he told me he was asked earlier in the day whether I’d be able to present a recommendation to the CEO on Wednesday. Seeing my eyes widen to the size and color of deviled eggs, he assured me I would not be doing so.
As I venture further in, the floor of the lake will continue to fall away as the waves begin to rise. They will be at my neck before I know it. Today is my first full day in the office.
Time to take the plunge.
JD
